Schizo of the Week

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Steve of the week

There was no way to win this hand. It was trash, junk, waste, rubbish. Its beriah had created an artificial world of restriction preventing all who hoped to win it from doing so, caught with their desires just out of reach like Tantalus in Hades. How could I, with my puny arms, hope to win a hand so impossibly trash? "Latin latin latin latin latin (ruby text ruby text ruby text)" the wall mocked me as it howled with the effervescent laughter of a thousand cherubic demons. This hand could not be won. It had been deemed trash forever, any attempts to reach tenpai with it doomed to fail, myself inevitably the next in line. The FOREKNOWLEDGE that this draw had brought me had also shown me all of a billion million possible futures, and lo for it had noten in all of them. Nothing and no thing could be done to change the status of this hand. The impossible human cognition of 'yaku' could simply not be transposed upon it by a fragile mortal mind. It was garbage and sealed beyond what any attempt to win it could say. This hand could not be won.

-------------------HOWEVER

Mahjong Soul of the week

I think I'm just done with this game
Whenever I riichi, someone else riichi and IPPATTTSSSUUUUUDORA DORA DORA DORA DORA fuck off
Whenever I use BELIEVE DAHOU and chase riichi or push because I got sick of folding.... ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOON
I actually got lucky once today and got a SHOUSANGEN TENPAI wow it's been like half a year since I got this and ofcouse the next discard my opponent won a 3900 win off me lmao.

Today I planned to just "just 1 game then go sleep", but now it's been 6 last place in a row. not a single TSUMO today. kanchan? penchan? ryanmen? shanpon, or even 3 sided wait? doesn't matter. TSUMO is not in my dictionary because Tsumo requires actual luck as opposed to Ron that requires mistakes from opponents.

I don't even care about rank, I just want to WIN. I want to WIN. WIN a hand, WIN a round. I want to fucking TSUMO. I WANT TO BE ABLE TO WIN OFF PURE LUCK AND NOT DEPENDING ON MY OPPONENT MISTAKE. I WANT TO BELIEVE IN MYSELF AND DRAW MY OWN WINNING TILE, but NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO that just can'tt happen..

I should've never played a game that heavily involved luck in the first place.

I've always been in unlucky in every single aspect of my life, so why the fuck did I think that maybe I could be lucky in video games? no bitch, it's the fact that I can't EVEN be lucky in video games, that of course I couldn't get any luck in more important stuff like my life.
I should focus on my wageslaving to maxx my income so I can retire then LIVE FRUGALLY and DO NOTHING until I rot and die. that's my #2 life dream. my #1 is to be a luckshitter that doesn't need to try, yet WIN everything in whatever

anyway, is there any way I can give away my account? or just delete it?
I"m fucking sick of this game that constantly reminds me how WORTHLESS my luck is, that I am an inherently unlucky person

fuck god, fuck luck, fuck fate and fuck my life
I wanna kms.

Autotable of the week

By: Anonymous Justified Schizophrenic

Here I was, home after celebrating New Years, deciding to play some autotable with the IRC. This is the first autotable of the year and I'm thinking I should start the year off right playing some mahjong. This rant is about this session of autotable that has made me convinced that I am getting targetted by some entity in the IRC council. This story takes place over the course of 4 hanchans played on the 1st of January.

I post the autotable, it fills up in 20 min and we start playing. It starts great for me, I win a haneman on E1, but it goes downhill fast. There is but one consistent pattern happening over and over and over again to me in this hanchan. Ippatsu Ura 2/Ura 3. This hanchan ends on east 3 from 37k points. I deal into dama menhon ittsu dora2 baiman with 2 manzu overflow on turn 5, a chase riichi ippatsu haneman ura 2 when i have mangan myself on turn 4 and finally I dealt into a guy who missed daisuushi tsuuisou tenpai because he wanted honitsu (I would deal into that triple yakuman)

Second hanchan starts. I don't think the last hanchan really carried over to me but it starts out rough. I get a turn 2 tenpai for a 1-3s kanchan for riichi dora, so I call riichi, this deals into turn 6 chase riichi ippatsu ittsu ura 2 haneman with 4-6s kanchan. Next hand I get tenpai turn 3, I have dora 3 in hand and and my wait is an entotsu 66m dora indicator + 66678p entotsu (9p no yaku). I call riichi since its unlikely ill win or switch my wait if I dont. Toimen drops chun, PON-NYA. I drop Haku, PON-NYA, Then the first sign of rigging appears. I draw a tile from the wall, aka 5sou. dangerous, but its ok, I go to discard it but accidentally release the tile too early sending it to the wall. No problem, it's a common autotable issue. I draw again. The tile changes to a Hatsu. I'm like WHAT THE FUCK??? I drop it, and I have never before wanted to kill myself more after hearing the third PON-NYA. Great. Now he has daisangen. He discards and I deal in immedietely with 3p. Amazingly bad luck, but thats ok, happens to the best of us.

We decide to play a third hanchan since i got shadowrealmed east 2. I deal into a cheap its no problem, and on the first honba I get an ippatsu tsumo haneman. Here is where strange magics start happening, and why I started recording the LIVE FUCKING RIGGING BY THE IRC COUNCIL. We enter East 2, and some strange things start happening. Dora indicator magically changes during the match. Initially I thought someone swapped it out, it's not at all a rare cheat in autotable, but then it happens again. A chun turns into a 6man. This time, I could clearly see the tile change, there was no lag unlike when a human does it. I suspected a script by one of the players but its so ridiculously fast that we would see it with the lag. This is where the recording starts. I have riichid, (at the time there were no kans on the table), and dora indicator has changed twice now [Repoanon's note: I wonder why the dora indicator is changing (link)]. The second dora indicator 6m used to be a chun. The 3p was a 3sou aswell. We kept playing. and you can see the recording yourself below.

There was even a glimpse of the magical tile switch on the 4p/1s in the recording so this isnt even schizophrenia, it's real. The IRC clearly has some sort of rigging mechanism and they are using it to target me. The rigging is not subtle in the video, but it used to be more subtle. I suspect this targetting has been happening since november 2023, however, I have no proof of this and it might have just been consistent bad luck/play. There have been some magical tile switches before, however I have not recorded them therefore I cannot use them to prove this. No other player has experienced the tile switch glitch in a game that does not have me.


Gaypost of the Week

Apparently people DON'T die when they are killed.

Seriously this doesn't make sense. I get that it's Magic but it just doesn't make sense. All the other stuff about dodging undodgable attacks I can accept. So I'm fully aware that it sounds silly but this situation has been haunting me for the past week and it won't let my mind rest.

Alright so Berserker has 12 Lives due to his Noble Phantasm. What the fuck does that even mean? How does that work, literally. If he recieves a fatal wound he loses a "life" but he doesn't actually "die"? If his body is so strong that he survives fatal wounds then they aren't fatal. But he doesn't have instant healing or time reversal or anything like that. It's so stupid in so many ways.

First off he actually recieves wounds and they don't instantly heal up once a "life" is used up. Wounds carry over and Berserker apparently needs 3 days to heal after Archer kills him 6 times. So he gets fatally wounded on every part of his body and those wounds don't heal but it doesn't really affect him at all. You'd think after having all his limbs almost cut off and his neck and head split open it wouldn't matter how many lives he has since his body shouldn't work properly anymore. Whatever he's just that tough I guess.

I'm not very good at math but if Archer kills him 6 times, Rin kills him 1 time and Shirou and Saber kill him 7 times doesn't that make 14? How can they kill him 14 times if he has 12 Lives? Even assuming that he also has 1 regular life, like everyone does, on top of his NP that's still just 13. So how was he killed 14 times if he only has 13 lives???

That's not even the worst part about it. Using Excalibur they manage to defeat Heracles by killing him 7 times in a single attack. That sounds really cool and it reminded me of that part in the Illiad where Hector's spear pierces like 10 out of 11 layers of the shield Ajax used to defend himself. Impressive I know but seriously what does that mean. Lives can't stock up like that and since when do shields have "layers"? Point being, Nasu said in an interview that Berserker's NP will give him immunity to whatever kills him. If he loses his life in a fire, he becomes immune to the flames. So why doesn't he become immune to Excalibur? Let's say he drowns, does he not need to breath anymore since lack of oxygen can't kill him anymore?

I've just started UBW, in case this mess gets explained properly I'll give you guys an update.

Play Fate

Become Superman

P.S. I read fate, so you know I'm a ryanposter. Hit me up on gay erp hours.


Cope of the Week


In a recent game, my Mahjong Soul was laid to bare. I ended this game in last place, Adept 3. East 1 as dealer I call Pon on the double Ton, which is also the Dora, and win the hand for an easy dealer Mangan. A few rounds later, 3 of us are about even and one poor lad has fallen to around 12000 points or so. I'm building a nice hand, 1-8 in souzu, non yakuhair pair, with Riichi could even be a haneman. So I declare riichi, waiting on 3 6 9 souzu. 4 x 9s remain, 3 x 6s, and 1 x 3s. I feel I need this ittsu, it belongs to me. The final 3s comes out after the second round of discards. Hmph, noo Ippatsu, no Ittsu. I skip. Knowing that I am just blindly hoping to draw a 9s into hand now, but as soon as I discard I already feel it in my tiny little stupid faggot retarded nigger brain, these little cock sucking neurons start connecting and it's just WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING WHY THE FUCK WOULD I SIP THAT WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME THIS IS FUCKING RANKED AND I COULD HAVE GUARANTEED FIRST BY A REASONABLE AMOUNT FOR NOW BUT INSTEAD I'M IN FURITEN RIICHI BY CHOICE WHAT AM I? Some more rounds of discards go by. Ron. I deal into last place, Tanyao Toitoi Dora 3, Haneman. Ah, and he's dealer too I can now see. As soon as I deal in, I feel it. A huge relief come off my shoulders. I laugh at the absurdity of my own Mahjong. I reflect quickly on the hand at how ridiculous that play was, but how surefire it seemed at the time. It was here I realised my core flaw. Why I've stayed adept all this time. Not that I have ever really complained about being Adept, but I have wondered why I haven't reached Expert despite playing so long, reading some defence/attack strategy, I'm more than comfortable with 5-block theory and even think about 6 sometimes. It seems that I never really wanted to win... I wanted to win hands, of course! What can beat that feeling of calling on your beloved agari tile? But winning the game is always secondary. And now that I can clearly understand my sickness, I can learn to let it go. I don't have to win every hand, to not try and win the game is to the detriment of not only me but those around me who strive to improve... Everyone wants to earn a victory in which everyone tried their hardest. I can do it. I can win too. It will be difficult, being so reliant on my brand of mahjong... But... I can learn to love myself. I don't have to stick in my old ways! I am no more or less than myself. And I can change for the better. I am worthy of becoming better! I can change! I am worth playing this game!

This is my Mahjong Soul


Anti-vtuber rant of the Week

Shut the hell up!

Of course there aren't any new tournaments! Don't go forcing all your work on me, huh? Every time you post in the thread, it's "New tournament doko? New tournament doko?" Like a new tournament can pop out of nowhere! No way! You know more than anyone else that you're asking for the impossible! Don't you, huh?

I know I'm just a cute girl. No matter what people say, I just do as I'm told! But that doesn't mean I don't have any emotions! Don't assume because I'm quiet then I'm really calm. This is from being calm for so long... I'm tired, can't you tell just by looking? You believe I have any sense of duty? You should have seen that I'm nothing but a good for nothing! Don't be fooled by appearances! Get a grip! That's right, I got nothing going for me except being cute! Don't go believing someone like this!

But I'm going to do it, I'm gonna do my job as the substitute TO for you! You're the ones that forced it on me! Rejoice, you idiots!

All right, guys, look at this idea. All of you are moping about past leagues, and wasting precious time you could use ranking. Do you guys realize how pointless all that is? If who you thought was a friend joined the vtuber tournament, that's enough to end the friendship? Is it all over if they post cringe in your thread? You've gotta come to terms at some point, or stuff like this goes on forever! Then it's no good unless you paint over those memories! Overwrite them! Change them into memories of "I couldn't trust anyone because of these weird antics, but we all made up in the end"!

Yeah, you guys are the worst bunch ever! Hypocrites that talk about thread culture and hide your vtuber superchats! Scum of the earth that betray once someone believes you! The lowest forms of life on Earth! But... But there must have been some truth somewhere in there! Maybe there was a bit of truth inside that lie!

Lies! Betrayal! Deception! Hypocrisy! Why don't any of you have a heart big enough to forgive all that! Huh? Since when are you so great that you can cherrypick the people around you? Don't hang out with people based on whether you like them or not!

I hate all of you! But god damn it, you're all my thread friends! So now I announce the Friends Tournament to be done in January 2024. For the gimmick, it's going to be Sanma.


Mirai

Hey, fellow Miraifags, how's it going? Just another few hours until we get Mirai's swimsuit announcement. Oh, what's this? Some new tweet? Sounds like it'd be good for confirma-

"[New Outfit - Beachside Vacation - Wanjirou]"

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

OH NONONONONONONONONONONONONONO NONONOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE T....TWEET IS FAKE THEY DREW WANJIROU THEY........THEY CAN'T DO THIS BROS FUCK KANA FUCK FU JI FUCK YOUR STUPID BOOMER IRRELEVANT BULLSHIT ITS NOT FAIR

CATFOOD ITS NOT FUCKING FAIR WHERE IS MY MIRAI WHERE IS DRILLS WHERE IS CLOCK TITS OH NO NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

PLEASE GOD ANYTHING BUT THIS PLEASE DON'T LET DADDY YOSTAR BE WRONG PLEASE NO PLEASE OH MY GOD NO NON ONONONONOO

Y...YOU GUYS LOOK AT WANJIROUS EYES HIS EYES ARE RETARDED WTF WHY DOES KANA'S HAND KEEP MOVING WAIT ITS FU JIS????? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

ITS FAKE ITS GOT TO BE FAKE ITS REALLY REALLY GOT TO BE FAKE GUYS LISTEN PLEASE LISTEN MIRAI'S SWIMSUIT IS IN THE GAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MIRAI'S SWIMSUIT IS IN I FUCKING PROMISE MIRAI'S SWIMSUIT IS IN YOU ARENT GETTING WANJIROU YOU ARENT GETTING KANA YOU ARENT GETTING FU JI OR HAG OR GYARU

CATFOOD WHAT THE FUCK I TRUSTED YOU WHY DID YOU FUCK IT UP WHY DID YOU MAKE WANJIROU'S SWIMSUIT GOOD NO THIS DOESN'T FIT MY NARRATIVE THAT YOSTAR IS RETARDED NO THEY CANT BE COMPETANT THEY JUST CANT

FUCK YOU FUCKING WANJIROU MOTHERFUKER FUCK YOU FUCK YOUR STUPID RAMEN I HATE YOU I HATE YOU WANJIROU FUCK YOU YOSTAR FUCK YOU CATFOOD FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU NONO NONONONONO