Gacha of the Week

 おはよう


Week A1 - Poker Soul


playstore

So why is poker a better gambling game that mahjong? First of all, fuck mahjong. The only ones playing it really are sunk-cost fallacy fags who’s been playing this game for decades and can’t pull out of this game because it’s the only activity that they can “express” they skill – which is funny because these retards actually believe this. Mahjong is a game of luck, and no amount of coping can deny this. Yeah, I’m using a buzzword, who the fuck cares mahjong is a buzzword. So okay, we established that mahjong is a game of luck. What’s next to compare, which game is more fun? Spoiler: it’s poker. Shut the fuck up mahojngtards, ask any normal person and that’s the answer they’ll give. “But who cares about normalfags—” imagine being so socially inept that you can’t understand the absolute basics of talking to people and being able to connect with them. Go watch fucking Barney the purple fuckasour, you autistic sperg.

Now we established the superiority of poker over mahjong both in a technical and social level. But let’s analyze the platforms next (take note that I’m not gonna go over the convenience level of each, since poker mogs mahjong out of the park no questions asked). And as we all know, the greatness of any video game lies in the quality of the cunny. Who is the best cunny in Mahjong Soul right now? It’s Nanodesu, Fake Cat or Chiori/Koromo, the order varying on what flavor do you fancy. But meanwhile, instead of quantity, Poker Soul opts for quality; I don’t know the name of this particular cunny, but we all know the long pink hair is the greatest of hairstyles don’t argue with me on this. Plus, she's top cute. It’s no contest. Poker Soul wins. What the fuck, Mahjong doesn’t even try to put up a fight. I am going to the SUPERIOR game and SUPERIOR gacha, thank you very much.


Week of me being the only one updating this - AI (Normal)


I for one welcome our AI overlords to destroy the meatbag menace.


Week who cares? - Jun Murakami (村上 淳)


The guy that carried Drivens to another final. An underrated player that suffers the incompetence of his teammates. Seriously, why the fuck can't Sonoda win shit when it matters? And let's not talk about that point-giving midget Maruyama. This was our year Drivensbros... ;_;


Week ?? - McChicken


For me, it's the McChicken. The best fast food sandwich. I even ask for extra McChicken sauce packets and the staff is so friendly and more than willing to oblige.

One time I asked for McChicken sauce packets and they gave me three. I said, "Wow, three for free!" and the nice friendly McDonald's worker laughed and said, "I'm going to call you 3-for-free!".

Now the staff greets me with "hey it's 3-for-free!" and ALWAYS give me three packets. It's such a fun and cool atmosphere at my local McDonald's restaurant, I go there at least 3 times a week for lunch and a large iced coffee with milk instead of cream, 1-2 times for breakfast on the weekend, and maybe once for dinner when I'm in a rush but want a great meal that is affordable, fast, and can match my daily nutritional needs.

I even dip my fries in McChicken sauce, it's delicious! What a great restaurant.


Week 5 - Chikuwa


Youtube Channel

I'll be honest, this original song is the only thing I've watched from her. But this song alone, with lyrics so retarded yet so cute, is the pinnacle of what v-tubers can achieve. Fuck vtubers, literal corporate whores behind a mask of 2d cuteness, the bastardization of the purity of cute anime girls. Everything they do, every cute gesture, is layered upon a thick film of corporate pole dancing. There is no purity, no true love to be found in these whores. It's all about the fame and money, and you know this based on the drama they constantly wrap themselves up with.

But as usual, there are exceptions. This girl... is not an exception, the fucker promised me mahjong and the only thing she has been playing are kusoges meant for girls. A true exception is Kaguya Luna. No, it's not because I was one of her earlier followers and followed everything she did for her first year. It's because it's pure cute entertainment, and somehow I don't smell the reek of pretentiousness on her. She hasn't been posting for almost a year. Do I know the drama behind why? Of course not. Another one is the Hatoba Tsugu channel. Well, not exactly a v-tuber, but it's cool and creative enough. But there hasn't been a video for a year now, I don't know why.

And of course, there's Chikuwa. Makes shitty videos, drops the best song in the world, makes one more eh okay song, and then quits. Holy fucking kino. You adorable bastard, what a chad. That is how a true v-tuber should be. No spamming shitty lets plays for cash her entire life. Try shitty random stuff, create the perfect banger, then quit.

Why did she quit? Who knows. It's been a year since her last video, but her legacy will live on.


Week 4 - Weather report


This is a TAF for Moorabbin airport. It was published at 0404 on the 28th of october AEDT. It is valid for the period of 0500 until 1100 AEDT on the 28th of October.

The wind is forcast at 7 knots from 110°. The visibility is forcast at >10km. There are few clouds (1-2 oktas) forcast at 1000 feet.

During the period of 0800-1000 AEDT the weather is expected to change to 5 knots of wind from 080°. It will also change to CAVOK conditions (Vis >10km, no cloud below 5000 feet and no significant weather conditions forcast).

During the period of 1300-1500 AEDT the weather is expected to change to 10 knots of wind from 170°. Visibility is forcast for >10km with showers of light rain and scattered clouds (3-4 oktas) forcast at 3000 feet.

During the preiod of 0500-1000 AEDT for periods of up to 30 minutes the conditions may change to: visibility >10km with broken clouds (5-7 oktas) at 900 feet.

During the period of 1500-1100 AEDT for periods of up to 30 minutes the conditions may change to: visibility 4000m, showers of moderate rain with clouds scattered (3-4 oktas) at 1500 feet.

The temperature forcast during this TAF is: 12 ,13, 16, 18 and the QNH forcast is: 1018, 1019, 1019, 1017. These numbers are given at 3 hour intervals.

The METAR was automatically generated at 1030 AEDT on the 28th. It reports 3 knots of wind from 050°, visability >10km, nil cloud detected, a temperature of 17° and a dew point of 11°, the QNH is 1019. There has been no rainfall since 9am or in the past 10 minutes.


Week 3 - Toitoi


arcturus

There comes at time in any young mahjonger's life when he is forced to choose between two fates: become retarded and make chiitoi, or become a hero, PONYA and dash straight to the promised Toitoi. There's not much to say about this yaku. It's two han. It's all pairs. It's always going to end up in a bad shanpon wait. It's the standard calling hand for retards who want to leave themselves vulnerable to attacks -- or at least that's how the chiitoifaggot propaganda goes.

Toitoi is the invigoration hand. You are forced to call. Calling is action, not like the passive chiitoi. With toitoi, you are cornered. If someone riichis, or calls a dangerous dora pon, you have to proceed and win the hand. There is no turning back. You are cornered, and a cornered cat is the most dangerous predator of all. You intimidate enemies with your toitoi. They scream, "Oh shit, oh fuck, that's a toitoi," and they fold. You seal off dumb stupid ryanmens, and you convert the usual horizontal playing field to a vertical aerial battle where only the brave can survive. Take note, toitoi is not the coward's yaku. If you're a retarded hagfag who thinks betaori to not-fourth is the right mindset, then you are weak. You are the weakest player of all. The strong -- those who are truly strong -- always aims for first. And those who always aims for first will always aim for toitoi.

Oh nyagger. The toitoi is the mirror to the soul. Your mahjong soul. If your heart is disturbed and your mahjong unpure, then your mind rejects the toitoi and the toitoi rejects you. But those of pure hearts, the kitten who years for first and nothing but the first, the toitoi is your friend. He is the banner of your victory.

Then you hear the heathens, the betaorifags, the chiitoitards, scream in anger: "Chiitoi is far greater! Toitoi leaves you defenseless! You can integrate chiitoi with riichi, so it's stronger and has greater defense! Chiitoi is the shortcut to haneman! The pros at tenhou have a greater chiitoi rate compared to toitoi!" You fool! You absolute buffoon. The pros at Tenhou? There are no pros in tenhou! There, are people who have sold there soul to the fourth place rejectance devil! Do not listen to their sweet whispers, young nyagger! Chiitoi might be the shortcut to haneman, but shortcuts are only taken by the weak-willed! The unthinking masses! The people who want it easy in life! Is that what you want your pathetic life to amount to? Shortcuts and cheap assurance of defense? No, nyagger! Mahjong is a game for the bold, for the hard-working! For those who dare to dream, for those who dare to BELIEVE! Toitoi is hated by those who have abandoned their Mahjong Souls! By those who cling to statistics and defense! You can't integrate it to riichi? YOU RETARD, A TOITOI RIICHI IS THE STRONGEST HAND OF ALL! Four pairs, with a dora. That's a chii-- SHUT THE FUCK UP! THAT'S TOITOI. DO NOT BE A PASSIVE PLAYER. MOVE EVER FORWARDS. CALL. YOUR HAND IS NOT A STALE LAKE OF FOURTH PLACE REJECTANCE, YOURS IS A RAGING TORRENT OF RIVER, AN UNSTOPPABLE FLOW! YOURS IS A HAND OF TOITOI, A HAND OF FIRST PLACE ACCEPTANCE! A HAND THAT SAYS, IF I'M NOT FIRST, I'M LAST.!A HAND THAT WILL NOT COMPROMISE AND TAKE SHORTCUTS, BUT TREAD THE NARROW WINDING PATH TO ABSOLUTE VICTORY! YOUR HAND IS A HAND OF LIFE, OF LOVE AND OF SOUL!

Young nyagger, believe. I've seen mahjong players mature, read the strategy books, and grow out of calling toitoi. They fall for the sweet indoctrination of statistics and think they are strong players for winning cowardly hands. In this age of online mahjong, this is their truth. But I tell you, young nyagger, if you proceed to their path, from rb1 to the rest of the strategy books, you will lose your soul. You hear them say that mahjong is a game of despair. They become so used to the soulless grind that they warp this game to fit their perspective. They are wrong. Mahjong is is not a game of despair. Mahjong, young nyagger, is a game of soul. Mahjong is fun. Who cares about the tryhards who gloat about their cheap wins? Accept that toitoi. Win and win as cool as possible. Return to your childish heart, oh nyagger, to the thrill of risking this cheap toitoi and winning against a dealer riichi. Do not be afraid of fourth. No. Be afraid of not getting first. It's all about the mindset. This is the mindset of a truly strong mahjonger, with an unlosing heart. Become the active player, the one feared by all. Lurk not in the shadows and dama, but shine brighter than the rising sun and win as a beacon of hope.

Nyagger, reject that chiitoi. That's a toitoi hand.


Week 2 - 速溶霓虹 by ANK feat.熊子


Holy fuck. Kumako's voice is too airy, cute and perfect. This is, for me at the very least, the pinnacle of cute music. Okay, hear me out. I'm a big fan of denpa music. In fact, my favorite singer tied to nao (I don't really like nao songs, but this is my personal favorite song) is Koko. Fuck, this album is perfect. Nanahira songs are either a really good hit or a sad miss, but all koko songs no exception are good. I mean, listen to fucking this. Denpa artists are the best when it comes to cutesongs. But... with Kumako in this song, it's different. It's magic. There's no other way to explain it. It's a tragic mix of electro-bass beats and cuteness. Do I understand the song? Yes I do. It speaks to the SOUL despite being chinese, one of the most soulless language in the world. It's a sultry kind of cuteness, charming, calls you closer with her cute voice and you can just imagine sinking deeper into the cutevoid as the darkness fades into a cuter violet color. It's what I'd call a perfectly cute song. In fact, if I needed a meter to measure cuteness, this song would be the peak.

It starts with a few catchy bass beats and electronic stuff to ease you in. Then, her voice hits. You hear it, that perfect blend of whisper, a cute pitch that doesn't feel grating to the ears, and that simplicity. Man, that simplicity of her voice. You know she isn't forcing the cuteness out. It's cute, plain and simple, and easy to understand. Long ago, I hated sexy shit because it emphasized womanly beauty and was a hindrance to the peak childish cuteness hiding behind, but this song unironically changed my entire philosophy on it. Sexiness has the power to amplify cuteness to a degree never seen before. This song is proof of it, and what more, it wouldn't work if you tried to remove the whispery voice and changed it to the generic cutepitch voice. It would be cute, yes, but it won't be as cute as this song.

You might think I'm repeating myself, but all I'm really trying to do is, in my own limited way, try to convey just how perfect and cute this song is. How the fuck did this song even exist? It was the first time that my absolute philosophy of cuteness was shaken. I realized that despite the absoluteness of cuteness, the human mind had a limited capacity to understand it. This song will be the song that will open a new age of the understanding of cuteness, that is what I truly believe.


Week 1 - Bath-House Bonding With Mai-chan


ex / nh

There is an ART to oppai loli. You don't just draw a loli, make her boobs bigger, and call it a day. No. There is a specific science to it, and this artist just nails it. So the story is that this neighborhood friend of yours (who calls you onii-chan, important detail to note) has her bath being repaired, so she goes to the local bath-house. And what do you know, onii-chan is there too. And what do you know, the girl wants to bath with you.

Alright, I know what you're going to say. Nooooooo, it's not oppai loli the girl doesn't even look like a loliiiii. And to you I say, yes, you're right, but still shut the fuck up. She's a fourth grader. What, it's more accurate to call her shortstack? Why don't you shortstack yourself in a fucking sack and if you don't think context is more important than the apparent design, you're a retarded pleb. For example, take that one doujin where the kindergarten kids turn into hags. And now you ask yourself: is it loli? And to which I reply: no. It's not loli. Why? 'Cause they're fucking hags. Is a 3000 year old vampire loli a true loli? Yes, sure. So how do you define it? Simple. Are they depicted as a loli? If so, then yes, it's a loli.

I'm getting lost. So what I'm talking about, is that yes, this is a loli doujin. It's a great one with good sensible proportions, the girl is super cute, everything is cute and that's all that matters. Pure cute vanilla goodness. I definitely recommend reading this, and maybe check out the artist's other works because he also made that one top-tier doujin about also another oppai loli, but holy shit was that perfect.